Jacinda's 12 mo Well Baby Check Up

Wow, I can't believe that I am actually writing "12 months"! That year went so fast. Today we went to Jacinda's well baby check up and she is now 22 lbs and 11 oz and 30 inches long! She has grown 1 1/2 inches since her 10 month check up, wow! She is doing great, about in the 75th percentile now, so not quite 95% like used to be.

Yesterday the Dr. called and ordered Jacinda's oxygen to be night-time use only, but then today her saturation levels were back down to 87-89%, so it is pretty discouraging. I'm really trying to stay positive, but it is getting old. She is up one week, down the next and I'm just ready to be done with this! The Dr. said she would order another overnight observation in about 4 weeks, so please pray that she will pass and she can be off completely. After today's levels, the Dr. wants her to stay on oxygen during the day, but with her mobile, it is frustrating to her and us. She'll be cruising along and then get stuck and it'll pull her head back a little, so it just doesn't seem safe. Are we the worst parents ever? I do fear that we could be doing some kind of long term damage or something, but trying to just trust the Lord that He is protecting her from anything like that. I'm so sick of being on this roller coaster! I want OFF!!! It just seems as soon as I have hope again that she'll be off soon, she's back down again and we start all over. I try to remind myself that this is pretty small in comparison to what other families are going through. When we were at the Children's Hospital, I thanked God that, though a fantastic hospital, that she only had to be there a couple hours, that she isn't terminal, that she is reaching all her milestones and full of joy.

I am experiencing the incredible love a mother has for her child and how much pain you one can feel at the same time. It is sure opening my eyes to how much God loves us. If I can love Jacinda more than I can express in words then God's love is even more unfathomable! I can't help to wonder what the Lord has in store for us. What will come from our trial? Will we be inspiration to others? Is this just preparing us for something bigger down the road? Or maybe just teaching us to grow as individuals and grow our faith... only time will tell, I guess.